Parenting, what a gift from God. All I ever dreamed of being when I was a little girl, was being a Mommy. I played with my dolls daily until I was well over the age of 13. They were so real to me. I loved taking care of them, dressing them, feeding them, talking to them, reading to them, disciplining them, etc. The only thing that I left out was the part of getting up in the middle of the night. Oh, I am not fooled to believe that I knew all there was to know about being a mommy at the age of 7, I still don't, but I did try to put to good use all the things that I had observed my own mom doing.
I was 27 years old when I had Brooklyn. All the years of playing dolls didn't even begin to touch the surface of what being a parent was/is all about. The reality that I was responsible for this little baby hit me like a ton of bricks. While I was in awe of, and completely thrilled to be, a parent, I also realized the seriousness of the task before me.(I should say we and do mean we, but have no intention of going back and changing this from being written in 1st person)The sole responsibility to raise a God fearing, God honoring, honest, kind, obedient, loving, caring, hard working, happy, Christian child now lay in my hands. I can't come to the end of life and blame anyone else for the mistakes that I have made in raising my children. It is up to me not only to teach, but to live by example.
I have been amazed of late the serious lack of parenting that seems to be the norm in our society! I guess people just believe that children will somehow turn out to be 'good kids' all on their own accord. Sorry, news flash!, parenting is work! Although it is the greatest and most rewarding (in my opinion) 'job' on earth, it is also the one that takes the most diligence and HARD WORK! Prayer and faithful time in the Word are truly a must in order to totally and completely be the parents that God intended for us to be. I am stunned when I hear people say that they just don't know what to do with their child. Well, if something isn't working that doesn't mean you stop trying. First and foremost - the Bible provides the entire basis with which to guide your home and if that isn't in depth enough for you there are many Christian/faith based materials out there for you to read and or listen to. There is no excuse for not parenting!!!
I am blown away with this concept of just letting our children choose, right or wrong, they should be in control of their own destiny. The thought that you should encourage your child to make mistakes each and every day and never try to stop them from making the wrong choice is completely foreign to me. I am not in anyway trying to insinuate that me should raise robots and I do allow my kids to make choices; which socks do you want to wear, the red pair or the blue pair, would you like toast or cereal, would you like mommy to read or play with your toys. I present them with reasonable choices that are going to have an outcome that both of us can be pleased with. But I don't allow them to tell me that they ARE going to have bubble gum and ice cream for breakfast, or that they have decided that they want to wear roller skates for the day (no matter where we are going) or that they don't want to wear a coat outside and it is only 16 degrees. No, if they are feeling the need to make a decision for that day I ask them if they would rather wear the pink or the aqua coat. DUH, people! They are little children, treat them as such. The time will come all too soon when they are old enough to start making choices on their own and after having gone through years of training they will know that you don't wear roller skates to school, they will be prepared and ready to make wise decisions. Tell me that it is a great idea when they are 5 to let them wear roller skates to school because that is what they chose to wear, and I will not only tell you that you are indeed stupid, but will also show you a home where the parents are not in authority. This home, 9 times out of 10, will be a place that is filled with discord, fighting, yelling, unhappiness, and face it - bratty children! I don't mean to be rude, but so many times we try so hard to think outside of the box, when in reality the box is where the children feel the safest and the most loved.
I don't have my children raised and I don't claim to have complete angels, but I do feel that I have good kids. We can go into a store and I am not having to deal with fit throwing and tantrums because we didn't purchase the toy that they felt that they needed. I can snap my fingers and get the response that I am looking for or give the 'look' that says that isn't what you should be doing, but this didn't just happen over night. This has taken years of training up my children. There are still times when more 'correction' is needed, but as my kids get older these times are getting fewer and farther between. Brittan is 3 and he is still in the training years, but Brooklyn, at 6 years old now needs far less correction. She has learned the boundaries and the consequences for stepping out of those bounds. And for as much correction, there is that much more love. My kids know beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are loved and are the most precious gifts that Brook and I have. We spend TIME playing, listening, caring, reading, holding, praying for and with, our children. We want them to know that they matter! We know that what we invest into their lives each and everyday, will pay dividends in the end for them and for us!
I am fully aware that I am preaching to the choir today, but it was on my heart and mind and so I just wanted to share. Guess I felt a little more free to rant since my blog is a closed one.:):) Happy Tuesday!
